You’ve become a Modern Caregiver.

You are a big-hearted, capable, get-it-done person – who already had multiple demands on your time and energy even before caregiving entered your life.

Perhaps you’re the person that your family (or community) naturally leans on for assistance or advice or organization… so naturally you stepped-up when a loved one needed care.

And, of course, your big heart wants to help.

And you’ve made the commitment.

And yet…

…you can’t devote your entire life to giving care (as society has relied on so many women to do throughout history).

…you know that “pressing pause” on your life is a myth (this IS your life – extra years won’t be magically added to the end of it as a thank you bonus).

…you are also concerned that your own desires and plans and goals are being crushed / diminished / swept aside by the demands of supporting someone else during their crisis or throughout their chronic condition (or their decline towards death).

You might be getting caught in spin-cycles of sadness / anger / worry / frustration about how your career or your home life or your own health is being impacted by these added responsibilities (and shifts in your family relationships).

Or maybe you’re exhausting yourself in a heroic attempt to save your loved one from their circumstances.

Yeah. This is difficult stuff.

Caregiving is one of the most complex challenges life has to offer – physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. Even so, I know you will make it through.

My question is… 

…do you want to carry the weight of this situation all by yourself or would you like to learn how to make it a little bit lighter, a little more manageable by supporting yourself with some coaching and strategic guidance?

In other words: Would you like to merely go through this chapter of your life… or would you like to grow through it?


In this free mini-class, I share the most valuable perspective shift I had as a caregiver. Once you know it, you’ll be able to plug some mental energy leaks and stay out of “robot caregiving mode.”

Caregiving takes a lot out of you… but it doesn’t have to take all of you out of you. 

Because You Care
Guidance to help you avoid the Black Hole of Caregiving.

40 minute audio recording + full transcript

Your privacy will always be respected – and you can unsubscribe from any of my communications at anytime. It’s a privilege to be able to connect with you. I appreciate your interest and value your trust.
BONUS: When you request my free mini-class, you will also receive my free weekly series of :90 second videos of guidance created especially for caregivers. And, of course, you can unsubscribe at anytime.

As a modern caregiver, you deserve access to someone who can help you integrate caregiving into your life in a healthy and sustainable way.

What is You First?

You First is a unique, on-going monthly group that offers expert coaching and open-hearted community to modern caregivers.

A “modern caregiver” is someone who is willing to integrate caregiving into their life – but in a way that prevents it from taking over their life, identity, livelihood, or goals.

All of the coaching is provided by me, Kristine Oller.

I chose the name “You First” because it resonates on three levels:

First, the fact that, as a caregiver, you have chosen to say to someone “I am putting you first.”

Second, the fact that, as a caregiver, you are regularly told that “you need to put yourself first” (so you don’t burn out).

And third, the fact that this coaching group exists specifically so that you, as a caregiver, have a place where someone else is putting you first. A place where you can relax and receive.

Who is You First for?

You First offers strategy and support to caregivers of all kinds – whether you are caring for a parent, sibling, child, friend, or a member of your extended family.

You First is specifically for caregivers who want to add more mental self-care into their life. Here you will learn how to plug your mental energy leaks so that you can retain more energy to put towards staying connected to your own desires and goals and plans.

Prioritizing this personal growth will be easier if you have a small but steady stream of useful, positive coaching flowing into your life.

Even if you never attend the live sessions, just by listening to the recordings of our previous coaching sessions, you will gain insights and tools that will make your situation feel a little bit lighter and more manageable.

You First does NOT focus on providing resources for the medical, legal, and financial challenges that are part of the caregiving landscape (beyond the suggestions you are welcome to request from members of our community). Nor is it a course or a training program to teach you how to become a “better caregiver.”

There are many organizations that already curate those particular resources. Likewise, there are many organizations that focus on providing you with information and tips that you, as a caregiver, can use to better serve the person you are caring for.

You First is also different than traditional caregiver support groups – and you can certainly benefit from having both in your life. While You First offers support – and a supportive environment – it also provides you with access to a master coach with the experience and skillset to help you move forward (which is the purpose of coaching) in a sustainable way throughout this intense chapter of your life.

“I have friends and family and access to resources and support – so why should I join You First?”

Guidance and Support are vital… but Strategy and Coaching are the pieces that make the difference between a modern caregiver feeling calm and connected to their own life rather than feeling drained and derailed.

This little video clarifies the difference between Guidance, Support, Strategy and Coaching:

What is included?

As a caregiver, you already have extreme demands on your time and energetic bandwidth. That’s why I designed You First to be a lean, uncomplicated experience: ask questions, receive guidance – and listen-in as others do the same.

The simplicity of this group enables you to focus on absorbing my coaching and applying it to your life.

That is all you need to make significant and lasting shifts. That is all you need to reach new depths of calm, confidence, and clarity – no matter what your current challenges are.

The You First Community is available to you in case you’d like to connect with and share resources with other big-hearted, like-minded, proactive people who have chosen to integrate caregiving into their lives. The community lives on a private, easy-to-use, distraction-free, online platform – and participation is optional.





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Why should I join?

Because caregiving is rough on the body, mind, and soul.

Far too many caregivers are struggling with decisions, emotions, family dynamics, competing agendas, and other complexities. And far too many caregivers feel guilty whenever they turn their attention to their own goals and ambitions.

Giving care – even to someone that you deeply cherish – can feel like a thankless job… but one of its main rewards (if you are open to it) is self-growth.

Joining You First will help you learn how to reduce the daily frustrations and frictions that drain you of energy.

Joining You First will give you a safe space where you can process your thoughts and feelings and seek guidance on the issues you are facing – without feeling judged.

Joining You First will ensure that you receive personalized, long-term support throughout the ups and downs of your caregiving journey (rather than having to “make do” with a single course or class or a just few, expensive private sessions with a therapist or coach).

How will coaching help me?

Although all caregiving situations are unique, every caregiver can benefit greatly from learning how to find and plug their mental energy leaks and from learning new approaches to problem solving and decision making that leave you better equipped to handle whatever life brings.

This is truly the self-care that enables you to sustain your caregiving over long periods of time and in moments of crisis.

Kristine really removed the sense of hopelessness I was feeling.  I’m growing through this experience in ways that I never thought possible – from being the daughter who was putting up with the old family dynamics to being a caregiver who has a job to get done and who is going to do it while protecting her emotional life at the same time (and also not feeling guilty for protecting myself). For me that’s HUGE.

I’ve learned to acknowledge my accomplishments and to do whatever I can do in terms of my creativity and moving my life forward as much as possible.  And I see that I’m allowed to have a life instead of feeling like the only way to be “a good Puerto Rican daughter” is to lay my life aside for them. 

My biggest growth was the realization that I didn’t have to be “everything” to my mother and that I wasn’t responsible for her relationship with my siblings. I wasn’t even aware I had taken those things on, or how much I had invested in that identity. It wasn’t healthy for me – it was really taking me down.

One of Kristine’s superpowers is distilling a situation and slicing away the emotion, the drama, and the stuff you think is important (but really isn’t). She has a beautiful way of getting down to the core of what needs to be addressed. She does it so gently that you don’t even realize it’s happening. The way she phrases things and questions things helps me get rid of all the swirling chaos in my head and find the path forward.  

I reached out to Kristine because I knew in my heart and mind that she was the right person for me. Knowing that she understands what I’m going through on a completely personal and human level has been really wonderful. I trust her to be straight with me and supportive and loving.

I’m now a person who can stop myself in the middle (or even at the very beginning of) a spin-out – about whatever is happening or what might happen – and ask myself a couple of questions and even re-frame what is happening. This is HUGE for me because I went through over fifty years of my life without having that tool, that ability to shift my perspective.

Kristine will listen to you, hear what you are saying (and dig through what you’re not saying), and work all of that around in her brain and come out with these amazing insights and suggestions.

With this new phase of my life caring for my partner, she was really amazing about making me look at the situation and acknowledge what I would miss if I lost him today… and what I still have. I still have the laugher and the walking hand-in-hand and the conversations and the snuggles and the love – all of that still exists. Although our relationship is not the same, that doesn’t make it any less valid.  It really was a shift in perspective for me because I was allowing his illness to change what really shouldn’t change, which is the love we have for one another.