relief for your heart and mind
relief for your heart and mind
relief for your heart and mind
For five years, inside my group called You First, I coached women of different ages and circumstances through the arcs of their caregiving journeys.
Although You First is now closed, this page contains a free, curated collection of my guidance and resources to help you move through and exit the caregiving tunnel on your feet rather than on your knees.
Thank you for being one of the ones who care.
For five years, inside my group called You First, I coached women of different ages and circumstances through the arcs of their caregiving journeys.
Although You First is now closed, this page contains a free, curated collection of my guidance and resources to help you move through and exit the caregiving tunnel on your feet rather than on your knees.
Thank you for being one of the ones who care.
“Kristine really removed the sense of hopelessness I was feeling. I see that I’m allowed to have a life instead of feeling like the only way to be ‘a good Puerto Rican daughter’ is to lay my life aside for them.”
“I’m now a person who can stop myself in the middle (or even at the very beginning) of a spin-out and ask myself a couple of questions and even re-frame what is happening. This is HUGE for me because I went through over fifty years of my life without having that tool, that ability to shift my perspective.”
“My biggest growth was the realization that I didn’t have to be ‘everything’ to my mother and that I wasn’t responsible for her relationship with my siblings. I wasn’t even aware I had taken those things on, or how much I had invested in that identity.”
“Kristine really removed the sense of hopelessness I was feeling. I see that I’m allowed to have a life instead of feeling like the only way to be ‘a good Puerto Rican daughter’ is to lay my life aside for them.”
“I’m now a person who can stop myself in the middle (or even at the very beginning) of a spin-out and ask myself a couple of questions and even re-frame what is happening. This is HUGE for me because I went through over fifty years of my life without having that tool, that ability to shift my perspective.”
“My biggest growth was the realization that I didn’t have to be ‘everything’ to my mother and that I wasn’t responsible for her relationship with my siblings. I wasn’t even aware I had taken those things on, or how much I had invested in that identity.”
“Kristine really removed the sense of hopelessness I was feeling. I see that I’m allowed to have a life instead of feeling like the only way to be ‘a good Puerto Rican daughter’ is to lay my life aside for them.”
“My biggest growth was the realization that I didn’t have to be ‘everything’ to my mother and that I wasn’t responsible for her relationship with my siblings. I wasn’t even aware I had taken those things on, or how much I had invested in that identity.”
“I’m now a person who can stop myself in the middle (or even at the very beginning) of a spin-out and ask myself a couple of questions and even re-frame what is happening. This is HUGE for me because I went through over fifty years of my life without having that tool, that ability to shift my perspective.”
For you…
Mary was the very first person to click “join” when the doors to You First opened up in 2021. This interview was filmed a little over a year after her husband Jack died from dementia.
She still found value in my coaching and our community well after her years of caregiving ended.
In this clip, we reflect on how you can both hate the trip you were forced to take and yet love the place it took you to.
“With this new phase of my life caring for my partner, Kristine was really amazing about making me look at the situation and acknowledge what I would miss if I lost him today and what I still have. I still have the laughter and the walking hand-in-hand and the conversations and the snuggles and the love – all of that still exists. Although our relationship is not the same, that doesn’t make it any less valid. It really was a shift in perspective for me because I was allowing his illness to change what really shouldn’t change, which is the love we have for one another.”
“One of Kristine’s superpowers is distilling a situation and slicing away the emotion, the drama, and the stuff you think is important (but really isn’t). She has a beautiful way of getting down to the core of what needs to be addressed. She does it so gently that you don’t even realize it’s happening. The way she phrases things and questions things helps me get rid of all the swirling chaos in my head and find the path forward.“
“You First was my life preserver — it saved me, heart, art, and all. Before I found this group, it’s not an exaggeration to say that I felt like the tsunami of the caregiving world would sweep me out to sea forever. I was overwhelmed, grieving, angry, terrified. You First immediately became a place of safety, calm, support, love and nourishment in the middle of the wildness. Through it, not only did my caregiver muscles get ripped — I found life muscles I wasn’t using and started building them. Kristine has created a village that the world has a profound need for.”
“With this new phase of my life caring for my partner, Kristine was really amazing about making me look at the situation and acknowledge what I would miss if I lost him today and what I still have. I still have the laughter and the walking hand-in-hand and the conversations and the snuggles and the love – all of that still exists. Although our relationship is not the same, that doesn’t make it any less valid. It really was a shift in perspective for me because I was allowing his illness to change what really shouldn’t change, which is the love we have for one another.”
“One of Kristine’s superpowers is distilling a situation and slicing away the emotion, the drama, and the stuff you think is important (but really isn’t). She has a beautiful way of getting down to the core of what needs to be addressed. She does it so gently that you don’t even realize it’s happening. The way she phrases things and questions things helps me get rid of all the swirling chaos in my head and find the path forward.“
“You First was my life preserver — it saved me, heart, art, and all. Before I found this group, it’s not an exaggeration to say that I felt like the tsunami of the caregiving world would sweep me out to sea forever. I was overwhelmed, grieving, angry, terrified. You First immediately became a place of safety, calm, support, love and nourishment in the middle of the wildness. Through it, not only did my caregiver muscles get ripped — I found life muscles I wasn’t using and started building them. Kristine has created a village that the world has a profound need for.”
“With this new phase of my life caring for my partner, Kristine was really amazing about making me look at the situation and acknowledge what I would miss if I lost him today and what I still have. I still have the laughter and the walking hand-in-hand and the conversations and the snuggles and the love – all of that still exists. Although our relationship is not the same, that doesn’t make it any less valid. It really was a shift in perspective for me because I was allowing his illness to change what really shouldn’t change, which is the love we have for one another.”
“One of Kristine’s superpowers is distilling a situation and slicing away the emotion, the drama, and the stuff you think is important (but really isn’t). She has a beautiful way of getting down to the core of what needs to be addressed. She does it so gently that you don’t even realize it’s happening. The way she phrases things and questions things helps me get rid of all the swirling chaos in my head and find the path forward.“