You First2022-11-15T15:53:17-08:00

You First is a unique, on-going monthly group that offers expert coaching and open-hearted community to Modern Caregivers worldwide.

You First is a unique, on-going monthly group that offers expert coaching and open-hearted community to Modern Caregivers worldwide.

You First is a unique, on-going monthly group that offers expert coaching and open-hearted community to Modern Caregivers worldwide.

You’ve become a Modern Caregiver…

You are a big-hearted, capable, get-it-done person – who already had multiple demands on your time and energy even before caregiving entered your life.

Perhaps you’re the person that your family (or community) naturally leans on for assistance or advice or organization… so naturally you stepped-up when this person needed care.

And, of course, your heart wants to help.

So you’ve made the commitment.

And yet…

…you can’t devote your entire life to giving care (as society has relied on so many women to do throughout history).

…you know that “pressing pause” on your life is a myth (this IS your life – extra years won’t be magically added to the end of it as a thank you bonus).

…you are also concerned that your own desires and plans and goals are being crushed / diminished / swept aside by the demands of supporting someone else during their crisis or throughout their chronic condition (or their decline towards death).

You might be getting caught in spin-cycles of sadness / anger / worry / frustration about how your career or your home life or your own health is being impacted by these added responsibilities (and shifts in your family relationships).

Or maybe you’re exhausting yourself in a heroic attempt to save your loved one from their circumstances.

Yeah. This is difficult stuff.

Caregiving is one of the most complex challenges life has to offer – physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. Even so, I know you will make it through.

My question is… 

…do you want to carry the weight of this situation all by yourself or would you like to learn how to make it a little bit lighter, a little more manageable by supporting yourself with some coaching and strategic guidance?

…do you want to stay connected to your Self and your goals while you give care?

In other words: Would you like to merely go through this chapter of your life… or would you like to grow through it?

Kristine really removed the sense of hopelessness I was feeling. I see that I’m allowed to have a life instead of feeling like the only way to be “a good Puerto Rican daughter” is to lay my life aside for them.

You First can help…

Caregiving is rough on the body, mind, and soul.

Far too many caregivers are struggling with decisions, emotions, family dynamics, competing agendas, and other complexities. And far too many caregivers feel guilty whenever they turn their attention to their own life and goals.

Giving care – even to someone that you deeply cherish – can feel like a thankless job… but one of its main rewards (if you are open to it) is self-growth.

You First offers strategy and support to caregivers of all kinds – whether you are caring for a parent, sibling, child, friend, or a member of your extended family.

Joining You First will help you learn how to reduce the daily frustrations and frictions that drain you of energy.

Joining You First will give you a safe space where you can process your thoughts and feelings and seek guidance on the issues you are facing – without feeling judged.

Joining You First will ensure that you receive personalized, long-term support throughout the ups and downs of your caregiving journey (rather than having to “make do” with a single course or class or a just few, expensive private sessions with a therapist or coach).

My biggest growth was the realization that I didn’t have to be “everything” to my mother and that I wasn’t responsible for her relationship with my siblings. I wasn’t even aware I had taken those things on, or how much I had invested in that identity.

Your investment to join You First is $89.99/month.

join you first
What happens after i press that button?

To keep things simple for you:
You can cancel your participation at anytime.

To keep things simple for me:
All payments made are non-refundable.

What’s included in your membership:

As a caregiver, you already have extreme demands on your time and energetic bandwidth. That’s why I designed You First to be a lean, uncomplicated experience: ask questions, receive guidance – and listen-in as others do the same.

The simplicity of this group enables you to focus on absorbing my coaching and applying it to your life.

That is all you need to make significant and lasting shifts. That is all you need to reach new depths of calm, confidence, and clarity – no matter what your current challenges are.

The You First Community is available to you in case you’d like to connect with and share resources with other big-hearted, like-minded, proactive people who have chosen to integrate caregiving into their lives. The community lives on a private, easy-to-use, distraction-free, online platform – and participation is optional.

THE 4 ELEMENTS OF YOU FIRST

LIVE
GROUP
COACHING
SESSIONS

REFLECTION
GUIDEBOOK
+
TOOL KIT

PAST
SESSION
RECORDINGS
ARCHIVE

PRIVATE
ONLINE
COMMUNITY
(mobile + desktop)

I’m now a person who can stop myself in the middle – or even at the very beginning of – a spin-out and ask myself a couple of questions and even re-frame what is happening. This is HUGE for me because I went through over fifty years of my life without having that tool, that ability to shift my perspective.

VIDEO

What’s the Difference?

Guidance and Support are vital… but Strategy and Coaching are the pieces that make the difference between a Modern Caregiver feeling calm and connected to their own life rather than feeling drained and derailed.

This video clarifies the difference between Guidance, Support, Strategy and Coaching:

PDF

How to Conserve Energy While Giving Care

click the image below to view

PDF

The 4 Tenets of a Modern Caregiver

click the image below to view

VIDEO

What’s the Difference?

Guidance and Support are vital… but Strategy and Coaching are the pieces that make the difference between a Modern Caregiver feeling calm and connected to their own life rather than feeling drained and derailed.

This video clarifies the difference between Guidance, Support, Strategy and Coaching:

PDF

How to Conserve Energy While Giving Care

click the image below to view

PDF

The 4 Tenets of a Modern Caregiver

click the image below to view

FAQs
I’m already in a support group so why would I need You First?2022-10-28T11:55:19-07:00

You First is different than traditional caregiver support groups – though you can certainly benefit from having both in your life.

Support groups – especially groups of your peers who are caring for people with the same illnesses or challenges – can be invaluable sources of information and insights.  It can also be extremely comforting to connect with people who truly mean it when they say: “I know how that feels.”

That said, the quality of facilitation and communication within support groups can be inconsistent and vary wildly depending on the group.

While You First offers support – and a supportive environment – the purpose of the group is to provide you with access to a master coach with the caregiving experience and strategic skillset to help you grow and move forward (which is the purpose of coaching).

I can help you navigate things like tough conversations, challenging family dynamics, changing relationships. I can help you build muscles around setting and keeping boundaries. I can help you stay connected to your own life and your own goals while you give care. I can help you make choices that will keep you from burning out during this intense chapter of your life.

 

Why group coaching?2022-10-28T11:55:49-07:00

The first reason is that group coaching offers access to expertise at a lower price point than any type of private session with a seasoned practitioner. Your life as a caregiver is complex, and a lower price point enables you to receive consistent, longer-term support as you untie your knots and make the shifts you desire.

The second reason is that a well-facilitated group coaching experience can be a game-changer for you – even if you are an introvert like me! You will get value whenever you are being coached directly and you will get value out of listening to others being coached.

(Very often, when your brain is listening to others working through their stuff, it is more relaxed and able to make connections and discoveries that it might not make when you are being coached directly. That’s why it’s also useful to listen to the recordings of your own coaching segments, too.)

I am an excellent coach – which is, of course, essential to the value of You First. But an effective group experience requires a perceptive, experienced facilitator who is able to create and maintain a safe and productive space. You will have that too: I have honed my skills by facilitating multiple, on-going groups every single month for more than twenty consecutive years. You will be in caring, responsible hands.

 

Why did you chose the name You First?2022-10-28T11:56:43-07:00

I chose “You First” because it resonates on three levels:

First, the fact that, as a caregiver, you have chosen to say to someone: “I am putting you first.”

Second, the fact that, as a caregiver, you are regularly told: “you need to put yourself first” (so that you don’t burn out).

And third, the fact that this coaching group exists specifically so that you, as a caregiver, have a place where someone else is putting YOU first. A place where you can relax and receive.

 

What is a Modern Caregiver?2022-11-02T20:54:38-07:00

A “Modern Caregiver” is someone who is choosing to integrate caregiving into their life – but in a way that prevents their role as caregiver from consuming the entirety of their life, identity, livelihood, or goals.

Modern Caregivers have lives that are already full and complex – we are breadwinners and/or single parents and/or entrepreneurs and/or full-time employees and/or earning graduate degrees and, and, and, and, and.

Throughout history, societies have relied on people – women mostly – to “put their own life on hold” when someone in their circle needs care. This is an antiquated model that is no longer sustainable in modern times. (Plus, the notion of “putting your life on hold” to care for someone else is nonsense. It’s a fantasy. You can’t pause your life. This IS your life – you are still living your life even as you give care. And when you are done with your caregiving journey, no one shows up at your door with some extra years to add back on to your life in thanks for your service.)

Modern Caregivers have big hearts and we want to provide care, but we also want to avoid depleting ourselves or draining our finances or derailing our life in the process.

Are you teaching me how to be a better caregiver?2022-11-02T19:11:49-07:00

Y