relief for your heart and mind
relief for your heart and mind
relief for your heart and mind
Do you feel torn between your own ambitions and the needs of someone you love?
I can help you stay connected to your own life and goals while you give care – without feeling guilty, selfish, or trapped.
Do you feel torn between your own ambitions and the needs of someone you love?
I can help you stay connected to your own life and goals while you give care – without feeling guilty, selfish, or trapped.
Don’t really think of yourself as a “caregiver” – you’re just “doing some stuff” for a relative or friend who needs a bit of extra help?
That was me, too.
Don’t really think of yourself as a “caregiver” – you’re just “doing some stuff” for a relative or friend who needs a bit of extra help?
That was me, too.
Does this sound familiar?
You are a get-it-done person with a plate full of plans.
Your life was already full – with multiple demands on your time and energy – even before you started helping your friend or family member who is facing a health crisis or struggling with a chronic condition or experiencing a mental or physical decline.
Perhaps you’re the person that your family (or community) naturally leans on, so you naturally stepped-up when this person needed on-going support.
Or perhaps you’re laser-focused on your career – and caregiving was definitely not on your vision board.
Maybe your involvement and responsibilities grew slowly over time.
Or maybe caregiving crashed into your life without a warning.
But you wanted to help (or felt like you should)…
…so you made the commitment.
And yet…
…you aren’t able to devote your entire life to giving care (as society has relied on certain people to do throughout history).
…you know that “pressing pause” on your life is a myth (this IS your life – extra years won’t be magically added to the end of it as a thank you bonus for all of this hard work).
…you are also concerned that your own desires and plans and goals are being crushed / diminished / swept aside by the weight of supporting another adult.
You might be getting stuck in spin-cycles of sadness / anger / worry / frustration about how your career or your home life or your own health is being impacted by these added responsibilities (and shifts in your family relationships).
Maybe your own physical limitations prevent you from giving as much care as you’d like to.
Or maybe you’re exhausting yourself in a heroic attempt to save your loved one from their circumstances.
Yeah. This is difficult stuff.
Caring for another adult is one of the most complex challenges life has to offer – physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, and financially.
Even so, I know you will make it through.
But I want you to make it through with your own life and wellbeing intact.
Caring for my sister was not the plan I had for my 40’s.
In many respects, I was a reluctant, deficient caregiver. I did many things wrong – but I did one thing very, very right…
…I chose, at every opportunity, to not just go through this experience, but to grow through it.
I learned how to calm my mind (hard), ask for help (harder), and feel my feelings (hardest). And I discovered that no one ever dies from discomfort (even though sometimes you wish that you would).
Because of that inner work, caregiving DIDN’T swallow me whole.
I exited the caregiving tunnel WITHOUT being thoroughly drained, demoralized, or derailed.
My life WASN’T in pieces. I was okay. Wiser but also stronger.
That’s what I want for you, too.
That’s why I created You First – a top-notch group coaching program that will help make sure this extraordinarily challenging (and sometimes excruciating) chapter of your life doesn’t swallow you whole.
Yes, the person you are caring for needs support –
but YOU are allowed to get some support, too.
Does this sound familiar?
You are a get-it-done person with a plate full of plans.
Your life was already full – with multiple demands on your time and energy – even before you started helping your friend or family member who is facing a health crisis or struggling with a chronic condition or experiencing a mental or physical decline.
Perhaps you’re the person that your family (or community) naturally leans on, so you naturally stepped-up when this person needed on-going support.
Or perhaps you’re laser-focused on your career – and caregiving was definitely not on your vision board.
Maybe your involvement and responsibilities grew slowly over time.
Or maybe caregiving crashed into your life without a warning.
But you wanted to help (or felt like you should)…
…so you made the commitment.
And yet…
…you aren’t able to devote your entire life to giving care (as society has relied on certain people to do throughout history).
…you know that “pressing pause” on your life is a myth (this IS your life – extra years won’t be magically added to the end of it as a thank you bonus for all of this hard work).
…you are also concerned that your own desires and plans and goals are being crushed / diminished / swept aside by the weight of supporting another adult.
You might be getting stuck in spin-cycles of sadness / anger / worry / frustration about how your career or your home life or your own health is being impacted by these added responsibilities (and shifts in your family relationships).
Maybe your own physical limitations prevent you from giving as much care as you’d like to.
Or maybe you’re exhausting yourself in a heroic attempt to save your loved one from their circumstances.
Yeah. This is difficult stuff.
Caring for another adult is one of the most complex challenges life has to offer – physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, and financially.
Even so, I know you will make it through.
But I want you to make it through with your own life and wellbeing intact.
Caring for my sister was not the plan I had for my 40’s.
In many respects, I was a reluctant, deficient caregiver. I did many things wrong – but I did one thing very, very right…
…I chose, at every opportunity, to not just go through this experience, but to grow through it.
I learned how to calm my mind (hard), ask for help (harder), and feel my feelings (hardest). And I discovered that no one ever dies from discomfort (even though sometimes you wish that you would).
Because of that inner work, caregiving DIDN’T swallow me whole.
I exited the caregiving tunnel WITHOUT being thoroughly drained, demoralized, or derailed.
My life WASN’T in pieces. I was okay. Wiser but also stronger.
That’s what I want for you, too.
That’s why I created You First – a top-notch group coaching program that will help make sure this extraordinarily challenging (and sometimes excruciating) chapter of your life doesn’t swallow you whole.
Does this sound familiar?
You are a get-it-done person with a plate full of plans.
Your life was already full – with multiple demands on your time and energy – even before you started helping your friend or family member who is facing a health crisis or struggling with a chronic condition or experiencing a mental or physical decline.
Perhaps you’re the person that your family (or community) naturally leans on, so you naturally stepped-up when this person needed on-going support.
Or perhaps you’re laser-focused on your career – and caregiving was definitely not on your vision board.
Maybe your involvement and responsibilities grew slowly over time.
Or maybe caregiving crashed into your life without a warning.
But you wanted to help (or felt like you should)…
…so you made the commitment.
And yet…
…you aren’t able to devote your entire life to giving care (as society has relied on certain people to do throughout history).
…you know that “pressing pause” on your life is a myth (this IS your life – extra years won’t be magically added to the end of it as a thank you bonus for all of this hard work).
…you are also concerned that your own desires and plans and goals are being crushed / diminished / swept aside by the weight of supporting another adult.
You might be getting stuck in spin-cycles of sadness / anger / worry / frustration about how your career or your home life or your own health is being impacted by these added responsibilities (and shifts in your family relationships).
Maybe your own physical limitations prevent you from giving as much care as you’d like to.
Or maybe you’re exhausting yourself in a heroic attempt to save your loved one from their circumstances.
Yeah. This is difficult stuff.
Caring for another adult is one of the most complex challenges life has to offer – physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, and financially.
Even so, I know you will make it through.
But I want you to make it through with your own life and wellbeing intact.
Caring for my sister was not the plan I had for my 40’s.
In many respects, I was a reluctant, deficient caregiver. I did many things wrong – but I did one thing very, very right…
…I chose, at every opportunity, to not just go through this experience, but to grow through it.
I learned how to calm my mind (hard), ask for help (harder), and feel my feelings (hardest). And I discovered that no one ever dies from discomfort (even though sometimes you wish that you would).
Because of that inner work, caregiving DIDN’T swallow me whole.
I exited the caregiving tunnel WITHOUT being thoroughly drained, demoralized, or derailed.
My life WASN’T in pieces. I was okay. Wiser but also stronger.
That’s what I want for you, too.
That’s why I created You First – a top-notch group coaching program that will help make sure this extraordinarily challenging (and sometimes excruciating) chapter of your life doesn’t swallow you whole.
Yes, the person you are caring for needs support – but YOU are allowed to get some support, too.
“Kristine really removed the sense of hopelessness I was feeling. I see that I’m allowed to have a life instead of feeling like the only way to be ‘a good Puerto Rican daughter’ is to lay my life aside for them.”
“I’m now a person who can stop myself in the middle (or even at the very beginning) of a spin-out and ask myself a couple of questions and even re-frame what is happening. This is HUGE for me because I went through over fifty years of my life without having that tool, that ability to shift my perspective.”
“My biggest growth was the realization that I didn’t have to be ‘everything’ to my mother and that I wasn’t responsible for her relationship with my siblings. I wasn’t even aware I had taken those things on, or how much I had invested in that identity.”
“Kristine really removed the sense of hopelessness I was feeling. I see that I’m allowed to have a life instead of feeling like the only way to be ‘a good Puerto Rican daughter’ is to lay my life aside for them.”
“I’m now a person who can stop myself in the middle (or even at the very beginning) of a spin-out and ask myself a couple of questions and even re-frame what is happening. This is HUGE for me because I went through over fifty years of my life without having that tool, that ability to shift my perspective.”
“My biggest growth was the realization that I didn’t have to be ‘everything’ to my mother and that I wasn’t responsible for her relationship with my siblings. I wasn’t even aware I had taken those things on, or how much I had invested in that identity.”
“Kristine really removed the sense of hopelessness I was feeling. I see that I’m allowed to have a life instead of feeling like the only way to be ‘a good Puerto Rican daughter’ is to lay my life aside for them.”
“My biggest growth was the realization that I didn’t have to be ‘everything’ to my mother and that I wasn’t responsible for her relationship with my siblings. I wasn’t even aware I had taken those things on, or how much I had invested in that identity.”
“I’m now a person who can stop myself in the middle (or even at the very beginning) of a spin-out and ask myself a couple of questions and even re-frame what is happening. This is HUGE for me because I went through over fifty years of my life without having that tool, that ability to shift my perspective.”
Here’s the thing…
…caregivers often get mentally exhausted before they get physically exhausted.
Because in your mind the caregiving never stops. Even if you live miles away from the person you are caring for.
Not only is your “caregiver antennae” on active alert for a sign or a sound that you are needed…
…but you are also managing details, logistics, and family dynamics while keeping your thoughts and feelings in check during times when they can’t be expressed.
That’s a LOT of weight on your shoulders.
But you can handle it, right?
You’re a smart, capable woman who’s used to heavy lifting.
You’re used to being self-sufficient.
You’re used to fixing and solving and saving the day.
Very often, smart, capable women are the ones who feel the most alone, ashamed, and anxiety-ridden as caregivers.
You might feel isolated – even within your family.
You might be pressuring yourself to be a superhero in this situation.
You might be worried that if you started venting your anger, sorrow, rage, or grief – even in healthy ways – you would never stop.
That was me, by the way. All of the above.
I wasn’t used to leaning on anyone… so I didn’t think there was anyone to lean on.
The demands of my caregiving situation continued to grow and my “superpowers” started to fail. Which had never happened to me before.
And then I had my first ever anxiety attack.
And then I finally started asking for some help.
Even smart, capable, big-hearted women need – and deserve – somebody to lean on.
Who has your back?
We do.
Here’s the thing…
…caregivers often get mentally exhausted before they get physically exhausted.
Because in your mind the caregiving never stops. Even if you live miles away from the person you are caring for.
Not only is your “caregiver antennae” on active alert for a sign or a sound that you are needed…
…but you are also managing details, logistics, and family dynamics while keeping your thoughts and feelings in check during times when they can’t be expressed.
That’s a LOT of weight on your shoulders.
But you can handle it, right?
You’re a smart, capable woman who’s used to heavy lifting.
You’re used to being self-sufficient.
You’re used to fixing and solving and saving the day.
Very often, smart, capable women are the ones who feel the most alone, ashamed, and anxiety-ridden as caregivers.
You might feel isolated – even within your family.
You might be pressuring yourself to be a superhero in this situation.
You might be worried that if you started venting your anger, sorrow, rage, or grief – even in healthy ways – you would never stop.
That was me, by the way. All of the above.
I wasn’t used to leaning on anyone… so I didn’t think there was anyone to lean on.
The demands of my caregiving situation continued to grow and my “superpowers” started to fail. Which had never happened to me before.
And then I had my first ever anxiety attack.
And then I finally started asking for some help.
Even smart, capable, big-hearted women need – and deserve – somebody to lean on.
Who has your back?
We do.
Here’s the thing…
…caregivers often get mentally exhausted before they get physically exhausted.
Because in your mind the caregiving never stops. Even if you live miles away from the person you are caring for.
Not only is your “caregiver antennae” on active alert for a sign or a sound that you are needed…
…but you are also managing details, logistics, and family dynamics while keeping your thoughts and feelings in check during times when they can’t be expressed.
That’s a LOT of weight on your shoulders.
But you can handle it, right?
You’re a smart, capable woman who’s used to heavy lifting.
You’re used to being self-sufficient.
You’re used to fixing and solving and saving the day.
Very often, smart, capable women are the ones who feel the most alone, ashamed, and anxiety-ridden as caregivers.
You might feel isolated – even within your family.
You might be pressuring yourself to be a superhero in this situation.
You might be worried that if you started venting your anger, sorrow, rage, or grief – even in healthy ways – you would never stop.
That was me, by the way. All of the above.
I wasn’t used to leaning on anyone… so I didn’t think there was anyone to lean on.
The demands of my caregiving situation continued to grow and my “superpowers” started to fail. Which had never happened to me before.
And then I had my first ever anxiety attack.
And then I finally started asking for some help.
Even smart, capable, big-hearted women need – and deserve – somebody to lean on.