You First is different than traditional caregiver support groups – though you can certainly benefit from having both in your life.

Support groups – especially groups of your peers who are caring for people with the same illnesses or challenges – can be invaluable sources of information and insights.  It can also be extremely comforting to connect with people who truly mean it when they say: “I know how that feels.”

That said, the quality of facilitation and communication within support groups can be inconsistent and vary wildly depending on the group.

While You First offers support – and a supportive environment – the purpose of the group is to provide you with access to a seasoned coach with the caregiving experience and strategic skillset to help you grow and move forward (which is the purpose of coaching).

I can help you navigate things like tough conversations, challenging family dynamics, changing relationships. I can help you build muscles around setting and keeping boundaries. I can help you stay connected to your own life and your own goals while you give care. I can help you make choices that will keep you from burning out during this intense chapter of your life.

The first reason is that group coaching offers access to expertise at a lower price point than any type of private session with a seasoned practitioner. Your life as a caregiver is complex, and a lower price point enables you to receive consistent, longer-term support as you untie your knots and make the shifts you desire.

The second reason is that a well-facilitated group coaching experience can be a game-changer for you – even if you are an introvert like me! You will get value whenever you are being coached directly and you will get value out of listening to others being coached.

(Very often, when your brain is listening to others working through their stuff, it is more relaxed and able to make connections and discoveries that it might not make when you are being coached directly. That’s why it’s also useful to listen to the recordings of your own coaching segments, too.)

I am an excellent coach – which is, of course, essential to the value of You First. But an effective group experience requires a perceptive, experienced facilitator who is able to create and maintain a safe and productive space. You will have that too: I have honed my skills by facilitating multiple, on-going groups every single month for more than twenty consecutive years. You will be in caring, responsible hands.

There are 3 reasons why I am uniquely suited to be a valuable coach for anyone who wants to stay connected to their own life and goals while they give care:

1) I am a high-quality, experenced coach.
For over 20 years, I have been guiding smart, capable people through important decisions, tough conversations, significant shifts, and inspiring expansions. Even before I started You First, I had coached clients who were giving care – and clients who required care. So, the guidance I offer is not merely pulled from my own, personal caregiving experience. I have developed my set of wise eyes and keen ears over thousands of hours of hands-on work with clients plus personal reflection and refinement.

2) I am an experienced group facilitator.
An essential ingredient of any effective group experience is having a perceptive, calm facilitator who is capable of creating and maintaining a safe and productive space. I have honed my facilitation skills by leading multiple, on-going groups (both online and off) every single month for more than 20 consecutive years. You will be in caring, responsible hands.

3) I have long-term experience as a caregiver.
I am not an expert caregiver. (In fact, I was a reluctant, deficient caregiver in many ways.) And, of course, each caregiving situation has a unique set of circumstances and variables – no two are alike. I may not have walked a mile in your exact shoes, but I walked for 12 years in shoes that look and feel similar to yours in many key areas: anger, sadness, rage and grief… fear and frustration… overwhelm and doubt. Because of my skill set, I was able to exit the caregiving tunnel with my marriage, my business, and my Self still intact. I decided to go through this experience, but more importantly, I decided to GROW through it. You First exists because I want the same for you.

BONUS REASON:
4) I was a professional organizer for over 17 years.
This is a very helpful skill set to have and I’m happy to share my tools and perspectives in whatever way I can to support you through this chapter of your life.

I chose “You First” because it resonates on three levels:

First, the fact that, as a caregiver, you have chosen to say to someone: “I am putting you first.”

Second, the fact that, as a caregiver, you are regularly told: “you need to put yourself first” (so that you don’t burn out).

And third, the fact that this coaching group exists specifically so that you, as a caregiver, have a place where someone else is putting YOU first. A place where you can relax and receive.

A “Modern Caregiver” is someone who is choosing to integrate caregiving into their life – but in a way that prevents their role as caregiver from consuming the entirety of their life, identity, livelihood, or goals.

Modern Caregivers have lives that are already full and complex – we are breadwinners and/or single parents and/or entrepreneurs and/or full-time employees and/or earning graduate degrees and, and, and, and, and.

Throughout history, societies have relied on people – women mostly – to “put their own life on hold” when someone in their circle needs care. This is an antiquated model that is no longer sustainable in modern times. (Plus, the notion of “putting your life on hold” to care for someone else is nonsense. It’s a fantasy. You can’t pause your life. This IS your life – you are still living your life even as you give care. And when you are done with your caregiving journey, no one shows up at your door with some extra years to add back on to your life in thanks for your service.)

Modern Caregivers have big hearts and we want to provide care, but we also want to avoid depleting ourselves or draining our finances or derailing our life in the process.

You First is not a course or a training program to teach you how to become a “better caregiver.”

There are many organizations that focus on providing you with information and tips that you, as a caregiver, can use to better serve the person you are caring for. In You First we don’t focus on the person you are caring for – we focus on YOU.

We don’t focus on the challenges that the person you are caring for is facing, we focus on the challenges that YOU are facing while you are caring for your person.

YOU need encouragement, support, and attention, too – and getting those things will help you have more mental and emotional bandwidth so you can show up for your person with more compassion and less stress.

Likewise, You First does not focus on providing resources for the medical, legal, and financial challenges that are part of the caregiving landscape (beyond the suggestions you are welcome to request from members of our community). There are many websites and organizations that already curate those particular resources.

Your time commitment within You First is as flexible as you need it to be – without losing a drop of value.

Each month there are three 90min. group coaching sessions live (via Zoom) with me:

The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Saturdays of each month from 10am – 11:30am Pacific Standard Time

Attend as many sessions as you’d like.
Arrive late / leave early as needed.
Attend with your camera on or off.

You are welcome to submit your questions in advance for me to answer during the session. All of the sessions will be recorded and you’ll have access to the audio archive 24/7.

Even just listening to the recordings of other caregivers being coached will help your mind start to shift. Very often, when your brain is listening to others working through their stuff, it is more relaxed and able to make connections and discoveries that it might not make when you are being coached directly.

(That’s why it’s also useful to listen to the recordings of your own coaching segments, too.)

Yes.

You First members are able to book private sessions with me (60 or 90 minutes) at a special, reduced rate.

There is no formal or structured assignments as everyone is on their own individual coaching and caregiving journeys.

You will receive a You First Reflection Guidebook and a You First Toolkit to help you notice, examine, and process some of your thoughts and feelings – but your use of these materials is private and optional.

That’s perfectly fine – you can cancel your membership at anytime.

Trying out You First and then deciding it’s not a good fit is so much better than never joining and just endlessly wondering “what if…” (you will only really know for sure once you come in and see for yourself).

The minute you join you will have access to ALL of the recordings of our past sessions – listen to a few of those and you’ll quickly figure out if you have found a little corner of the internet where you are meant to be.

As an introvert myself, I totally understand where this question is coming from! Participation within the You First community and posting on the platform is completely optional. You are welcome to come and quietly lurk around and never post a thing.

You can also come to our live sessions just to listen – with your camera on or off. During those sessions no one is ever “called on” to participate unless they have indicated that they want to be coached. This is a safe, pressure-free environment in which to learn and grow.

Yes.

Membership in You First can be a tremendous gift to give to a caregiver. We can arrange for you to purchase an on-going membership or a certain number of months for someone that you’d like to sponsor.

To start the ball rolling on this, simply email us at assistant@kristineoller.com

We most certainly hope so.

Our formal Participation Policy is distributed to every new member.
You can view a copy here.