relief for your heart and mind
relief for your heart and mind
relief for your heart and mind
Do you feel torn between your own ambitions and the needs of someone you love?
I can help you stay connected to your own life and goals while you give care – without feeling guilty, selfish, or trapped.
Do you feel torn between your own ambitions and the needs of someone you love?
I can help you stay connected to your own life and goals while you give care – without feeling guilty, selfish, or trapped.
Don’t really think of yourself as a “caregiver” – you’re just “doing some stuff” for a relative or friend who needs a bit of extra help?
That was me, too.
Don’t really think of yourself as a “caregiver” – you’re just “doing some stuff” for a relative or friend who needs a bit of extra help?
That was me, too.
Does this sound familiar?
You are a get-it-done person with a plate full of plans.
Your life was already full – with multiple demands on your time and energy – even before you started helping your friend or family member who is facing a health crisis or struggling with a chronic condition or experiencing a mental or physical decline.
Perhaps you’re the person that your family (or community) naturally leans on, so you naturally stepped-up when this person needed on-going support.
Or perhaps you’re laser-focused on your career – and caregiving was definitely not on your vision board.
Maybe your involvement and responsibilities grew slowly over time.
Or maybe caregiving crashed into your life without a warning.
But you wanted to help (or felt like you should)…
…so you made the commitment.
And yet…
…you aren’t able to devote your entire life to giving care (as society has relied on certain people to do throughout history).
…you know that “pressing pause” on your life is a myth (this IS your life – extra years won’t be magically added to the end of it as a thank you bonus for all of this hard work).
…you are also concerned that your own desires and plans and goals are being crushed / diminished / swept aside by the weight of supporting another adult.
You might be getting stuck in spin-cycles of sadness / anger / worry / frustration about how your career or your home life or your own health is being impacted by these added responsibilities (and shifts in your family relationships).
Maybe your own physical limitations prevent you from giving as much care as you’d like to.
Or maybe you’re exhausting yourself in a heroic attempt to save your loved one from their circumstances.
Yeah. This is difficult stuff.
Caring for another adult is one of the most complex challenges life has to offer – physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, and financially.
Even so, I know you will make it through.
But I want you to make it through with your own life and wellbeing intact.
Caring for my sister was not the plan I had for my 40’s.
In many respects, I was a reluctant, deficient caregiver. I did many things wrong – but I did one thing very, very right…
…I chose, at every opportunity, to not just go through this experience, but to grow through it.
I learned how to calm my mind (hard), ask for help (harder), and feel my feelings (hardest). And I discovered that no one ever dies from discomfort (even though sometimes you wish that you would).
Because of that inner work, caregiving DIDN’T swallow me whole.
I exited the caregiving tunnel WITHOUT being thoroughly drained, demoralized, or derailed.
My life WASN’T in pieces. I was okay. Wiser but also stronger.
That’s what I want for you, too.
That’s why I created You First – a top-notch group coaching program that will help make sure this extraordinarily challenging (and sometimes excruciating) chapter of your life doesn’t swallow you whole.
Yes, the person you are caring for needs support –
but YOU are allowed to get some support, too.
Does this sound familiar?
You are a get-it-done person with a plate full of plans.
Your life was already full – with multiple demands on your time and energy – even before you started helping your friend or family member who is facing a health crisis or struggling with a chronic condition or experiencing a mental or physical decline.
Perhaps you’re the person that your family (or community) naturally leans on, so you naturally stepped-up when this person needed on-going support.
Or perhaps you’re laser-focused on your career – and caregiving was definitely not on your vision board.
Maybe your involvement and responsibilities grew slowly over time.
Or maybe caregiving crashed into your life without a warning.
But you wanted to help (or felt like you should)…
…so you made the commitment.
And yet…
…you aren’t able to devote your entire life to giving care (as society has relied on certain people to do throughout history).
…you know that “pressing pause” on your life is a myth (this IS your life – extra years won’t be magically added to the end of it as a thank you bonus for all of this hard work).
…you are also concerned that your own desires and plans and goals are being crushed / diminished / swept aside by the weight of supporting another adult.
You might be getting stuck in spin-cycles of sadness / anger / worry / frustration about how your career or your home life or your own health is being impacted by these added responsibilities (and shifts in your family relationships).
Maybe your own physical limitations prevent you from giving as much care as you’d like to.
Or maybe you’re exhausting yourself in a heroic attempt to save your loved one from their circumstances.
Yeah. This is difficult stuff.
Caring for another adult is one of the most complex challenges life has to offer – physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, and financially.
Even so, I know you will make it through.
But I want you to make it through with your own life and wellbeing intact.
Caring for my sister was not the plan I had for my 40’s.
In many respects, I was a reluctant, deficient caregiver. I did many things wrong – but I did one thing very, very right…
…I chose, at every opportunity, to not just go through this experience, but to grow through it.
I learned how to calm my mind (hard), ask for help (harder), and feel my feelings (hardest). And I discovered that no one ever dies from discomfort (even though sometimes you wish that you would).
Because of that inner work, caregiving DIDN’T swallow me whole.
I exited the caregiving tunnel WITHOUT being thoroughly drained, demoralized, or derailed.
My life WASN’T in pieces. I was okay. Wiser but also stronger.
That’s what I want for you, too.
That’s why I created You First – a top-notch group coaching program that will help make sure this extraordinarily challenging (and sometimes excruciating) chapter of your life doesn’t swallow you whole.
Does this sound familiar?
You are a get-it-done person with a plate full of plans.
Your life was already full – with multiple demands on your time and energy – even before you started helping your friend or family member who is facing a health crisis or struggling with a chronic condition or experiencing a mental or physical decline.
Perhaps you’re the person that your family (or community) naturally leans on, so you naturally stepped-up when this person needed on-going support.
Or perhaps you’re laser-focused on your career – and caregiving was definitely not on your vision board.
Maybe your involvement and responsibilities grew slowly over time.
Or maybe caregiving crashed into your life without a warning.
But you wanted to help (or felt like you should)…
…so you made the commitment.
And yet…
…you aren’t able to devote your entire life to giving care (as society has relied on certain people to do throughout history).
…you know that “pressing pause” on your life is a myth (this IS your life – extra years won’t be magically added to the end of it as a thank you bonus for all of this hard work).
…you are also concerned that your own desires and plans and goals are being crushed / diminished / swept aside by the weight of supporting another adult.
You might be getting stuck in spin-cycles of sadness / anger / worry / frustration about how your career or your home life or your own health is being impacted by these added responsibilities (and shifts in your family relationships).
Maybe your own physical limitations prevent you from giving as much care as you’d like to.
Or maybe you’re exhausting yourself in a heroic attempt to save your loved one from their circumstances.
Yeah. This is difficult stuff.
Caring for another adult is one of the most complex challenges life has to offer – physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, and financially.
Even so, I know you will make it through.
But I want you to make it through with your own life and wellbeing intact.
Caring for my sister was not the plan I had for my 40’s.
In many respects, I was a reluctant, deficient caregiver. I did many things wrong – but I did one thing very, very right…
…I chose, at every opportunity, to not just go through this experience, but to grow through it.
I learned how to calm my mind (hard), ask for help (harder), and feel my feelings (hardest). And I discovered that no one ever dies from discomfort (even though sometimes you wish that you would).
Because of that inner work, caregiving DIDN’T swallow me whole.
I exited the caregiving tunnel WITHOUT being thoroughly drained, demoralized, or derailed.
My life WASN’T in pieces. I was okay. Wiser but also stronger.
That’s what I want for you, too.
That’s why I created You First – a top-notch group coaching program that will help make sure this extraordinarily challenging (and sometimes excruciating) chapter of your life doesn’t swallow you whole.
Yes, the person you are caring for needs support – but YOU are allowed to get some support, too.
“Kristine really removed the sense of hopelessness I was feeling. I see that I’m allowed to have a life instead of feeling like the only way to be ‘a good Puerto Rican daughter’ is to lay my life aside for them.”
“I’m now a person who can stop myself in the middle (or even at the very beginning) of a spin-out and ask myself a couple of questions and even re-frame what is happening. This is HUGE for me because I went through over fifty years of my life without having that tool, that ability to shift my perspective.”
“My biggest growth was the realization that I didn’t have to be ‘everything’ to my mother and that I wasn’t responsible for her relationship with my siblings. I wasn’t even aware I had taken those things on, or how much I had invested in that identity.”
“Kristine really removed the sense of hopelessness I was feeling. I see that I’m allowed to have a life instead of feeling like the only way to be ‘a good Puerto Rican daughter’ is to lay my life aside for them.”
“I’m now a person who can stop myself in the middle (or even at the very beginning) of a spin-out and ask myself a couple of questions and even re-frame what is happening. This is HUGE for me because I went through over fifty years of my life without having that tool, that ability to shift my perspective.”
“My biggest growth was the realization that I didn’t have to be ‘everything’ to my mother and that I wasn’t responsible for her relationship with my siblings. I wasn’t even aware I had taken those things on, or how much I had invested in that identity.”
“Kristine really removed the sense of hopelessness I was feeling. I see that I’m allowed to have a life instead of feeling like the only way to be ‘a good Puerto Rican daughter’ is to lay my life aside for them.”
“My biggest growth was the realization that I didn’t have to be ‘everything’ to my mother and that I wasn’t responsible for her relationship with my siblings. I wasn’t even aware I had taken those things on, or how much I had invested in that identity.”
“I’m now a person who can stop myself in the middle (or even at the very beginning) of a spin-out and ask myself a couple of questions and even re-frame what is happening. This is HUGE for me because I went through over fifty years of my life without having that tool, that ability to shift my perspective.”
You know what’s super fun?
Guilt.
Do you feel some guilt when…
…you turn your attention to your own life and goals?
…when angry, ungenerous thoughts pop up in your head (or out of your mouth) when you are extra-tired or frustrated?
…when you consider spending money on guidance for yourself when the person you are caring for requires your financial support?
The guilt is real.
So is the shame, anger, and sorrow.
These heavy feelings are companions to caregiving, making everything a bit more difficult – decisions, emotions, family dynamics, competing agendas, priorities, etc.
Joining You First will help you learn how to reduce the daily frustrations and frictions that drain you of energy.
Joining You First will give you a safe space where you can process your thoughts and feelings (and say the scary / spiteful / shameful stuff out loud) without feeling judged.
Joining You First will ensure that you receive personalized, long-term support throughout the ups and downs of your caregiving journey (rather than having to “make do” with a single course or class or a just few, expensive private sessions with a therapist or coach).
Caregiving is rough on the body, mind, and soul.
You might need some guidance to unwind from the bad-feeling stories, emotional spin cycles, and mental energy leaks that are adding to the stress of your circumstances.
And, while free support groups are important (especially those that connect you with a community caring for people with the same ailment), you might feel undernourished in these groups.
You might be yearning for a type of strategic, growth-oriented guidance that those particular environments and facilitators aren’t able to provide.
In You First we don’t focus on the issues that person you are caring for is facing, we focus on the issues YOU are facing while you are caring for that person. So that you will be able to sustain yourself and stay connected to your Self – especially if this becomes a long-haul.
Caregiving doesn’t have to take
all of you out of you.
You know what’s super fun?
Guilt.
Do you feel some guilt when…
…you turn your attention to your own life and goals?
…when angry, ungenerous thoughts pop up in your head (or out of your mouth) when you are extra-tired or frustrated?
…when you consider spending money on guidance for yourself when the person you are caring for requires your financial support?
The guilt is real.
So is the shame, anger, and sorrow.
These heavy feelings are companions to caregiving, making everything a bit more difficult – decisions, emotions, family dynamics, competing agendas, priorities, etc.
Joining You First will help you learn how to reduce the daily frustrations and frictions that drain you of energy.
Joining You First will give you a safe space where you can process your thoughts and feelings (and say the scary / spiteful / shameful stuff out loud) without feeling judged.
Joining You First will ensure that you receive personalized, long-term support throughout the ups and downs of your caregiving journey (rather than having to “make do” with a single course or class or a just few, expensive private sessions with a therapist or coach).
Caregiving is rough on the body, mind, and soul.
You might need some guidance to unwind from the bad-feeling stories, emotional spin cycles, and mental energy leaks that are adding to the stress of your circumstances.
And, while free support groups are important (especially those that connect you with a community caring for people with the same ailment), you might feel undernourished in these groups.
You might be yearning for a type of strategic, growth-oriented guidance that those particular environments and facilitators aren’t able to provide.
In You First we don’t focus on the issues that person you are caring for is facing, we focus on the issues YOU are facing while you are caring for that person. So that you will be able to sustain yourself and stay connected to your Self – especially if this becomes a long-haul.
Caregiving doesn’t have to take
all of you out of you.
You know what’s super fun?
Guilt.
Do you feel some guilt when…
…you turn your attention to your own life and goals?
…when angry, ungenerous thoughts pop up in your head (or out of your mouth) when you are extra-tired or frustrated?
…when you consider spending money on guidance for yourself when the person you are caring for requires your financial support?
The guilt is real.
So is the shame, anger, and sorrow.
These heavy feelings are companions to caregiving, making everything a bit more difficult – decisions, emotions, family dynamics, competing agendas, priorities, etc.
Very often, smart, capable people are the ones who feel the most ashamed, confused, and anxiety-ridden as caregivers.
Because you’re used to heavy lifting.
You’re used to being self-sufficient and not needing any help.
You’re used to fixing and solving and saving the day.
(Shouldn’t you be able to handle this by yourself??? Why aren’t your superpowers working anymore!?!)
Caregiving is rough on the body, mind, and soul.
You might need some guidance to unwind from the bad-feeling stories, emotional spin cycles, and mental energy leaks that are adding to the stress of your circumstances.
And, while free support groups are important (especially those that connect you with a community caring for people with the same ailment), you might feel undernourished in these groups.
You might be yearning for a type of strategic, growth-oriented guidance that those particular environments and facilitators aren’t able to provide.
In You First we don’t focus on the issues that person you are caring for is facing, we focus on the issues YOU are facing while you are caring for that person. So that you will be able to sustain yourself and stay connected to your Self – especially if this becomes a long-haul.
Joining You First will help you learn how to reduce the daily frustrations and frictions that drain you of energy.
Joining You First will give you a safe space where you can process your thoughts and feelings (and say the scary / spiteful / shameful stuff out loud) without feeling judged.
Joining You First will ensure that you receive personalized, long-term support throughout the ups and downs of your caregiving journey (rather than having to “make do” with a single course or class or a just few, expensive private sessions with a therapist or coach).
Caregiving doesn’t have to take
all of you out of you.
What’s included:
As a caregiver, you already have extreme demands on your time and energetic bandwidth.
That’s why I designed You First to be a lean, uncomplicated experience:
• Ask questions.
• Receive guidance.
• Listen-in as others do the same.
The simplicity of this group enables you to focus on absorbing my coaching and applying it to your life.
That’s all you need to make significant and lasting shifts – no matter what your current challenges are.
Each month there are three 90min. group coaching sessions live (via Zoom) with me:
The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Saturdays of each month from 10am – 11:30am Pacific Standard Time
• Attend as many sessions as you’d like.
• Arrive late / leave early as needed.
• Attend with your camera on or off.
All of the sessions will be recorded and you’ll have access to the audio archive 24/7.
THE 4 ELEMENTS OF YOU FIRST
LIVE
GROUP
COACHING
SESSIONS
REFLECTION
GUIDEBOOK
+
TOOL KIT
PAST
SESSION
RECORDINGS
ARCHIVE
PRIVATE
ONLINE
COMMUNITY
(mobile + desktop)
The You First Community is available to you in case you’d like to connect with and share resources with other big-hearted, like-minded, proactive women who have chosen to integrate caregiving into their lives.
The community lives on a private, easy-to-use, distraction-free, online platform.
Participation in the community and in the group coaching sessions is optional. Introverts (like me) are welcome to join and simply listen and absorb – either live or via the recordings.
What’s included:
As a caregiver, you already have extreme demands on your time and energetic bandwidth.
That’s why I designed You First to be a lean, uncomplicated experience:
• Ask questions.
• Receive guidance.
• Listen-in as others do the same.
The simplicity of this group enables you to focus on absorbing my coaching and applying it to your life.
That’s all you need to make significant and lasting shifts – no matter what your current challenges are.
Each month there are three 90min. group coaching sessions live (via Zoom) with me:
The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Saturdays of each month
from 10am – 11:30am Pacific Standard Time
• Attend as many sessions as you’d like.
• Arrive late / leave early as needed.
• Attend with your camera on or off.
Sessions will be recorded and you’ll have access to the audio archive 24/7.
THE 4 ELEMENTS OF YOU FIRST
LIVE
GROUP
COACHING
SESSIONS
REFLECTION
GUIDEBOOK
+
TOOL KIT
PAST
SESSION
RECORDINGS
ARCHIVE
PRIVATE
ONLINE
COMMUNITY
(mobile + desktop)
The You First Community is available to you in case you’d like to connect with and share resources with other big-hearted, like-minded, proactive women who have chosen to integrate caregiving into their lives.
The community lives on a private, easy-to-use, distraction-free, online platform.
Participation in the community and in the group coaching sessions is optional. Introverts (like me) are welcome to join and simply listen and absorb – either live or via the recordings.
FREE MINI-WORKSHOP
Because You Care
Reduce your mental exhaustion
(no matter what your circumstances are).
• free
• 4 short sections
• clear, simple, not boring
• listen, watch, or read
Your privacy will always be respected – and you can unsubscribe from any of my communications at anytime. I appreciate your interest and value your trust.
FREE MINI-WORKSHOP
Because You Care
Reduce your mental exhaustion
(no matter what your circumstances are).
• free
• 4 short sections
• clear, simple, not boring
• listen, watch, or read
Your privacy will always be respected – and you can unsubscribe from any of my communications at anytime. I appreciate your interest and value your trust.
FREE MINI-WORKSHOP
Because You Care
Reduce your mental exhaustion
(no matter what your circumstances are).
• free
• 4 short sections
• clear, simple, not boring
• listen, watch, or read
Your privacy will always be respected – and you can unsubscribe from any of my communications at anytime. I appreciate your interest and value your trust.
It’s true that…
…caregivers often get mentally exhausted before they get physically exhausted.
Because in your mind the caregiving never stops. Even if you live miles away from the person you are caring for.
Not only is your “caregiver antennae” on active alert for a sign or a sound that you are needed…
…but you are also managing details, logistics, and family dynamics while keeping your thoughts and feelings in check during times when they can’t be expressed.
That’s a LOT of weight on your shoulders.
But you can handle it, right?
You’re a smart, capable woman who’s used to heavy lifting.
You’re used to being self-sufficient.
You’re used to fixing and solving and saving the day.
Very often, smart, capable women are the ones who feel the most ashamed, confused, and anxiety-ridden as caregivers.
You might feel isolated – even within your family.
You might be pressuring yourself to be a superhero in this situation.
You might be worried that if you started venting your anger, sorrow, rage, or grief – even in healthy ways – you would never stop.
That was me, by the way. All of the above.
I wasn’t used to leaning on anyone… so I didn’t think there was anyone to lean on.
The demands of my caregiving situation continued to grow and my “superpowers” started to fail. Which had never happened to me before.
And then I had my first ever anxiety attack.
And then I finally started asking for some help.
Even smart, capable, big-hearted women need – and deserve – somebody to lean on.
Who has your back?
We do.
It’s true that…
…caregivers often get mentally exhausted before they get physically exhausted.
Because in your mind the caregiving never stops. Even if you live miles away from the person you are caring for.
Not only is your “caregiver antennae” on active alert for a sign or a sound that you are needed…
…but you are also managing details, logistics, and family dynamics while keeping your thoughts and feelings in check during times when they can’t be expressed.
That’s a LOT of weight on your shoulders.
But you can handle it, right?
You’re a smart, capable woman who’s used to heavy lifting.
You’re used to being self-sufficient.
You’re used to fixing and solving and saving the day.
Very often, smart, capable women are the ones who feel the most ashamed, confused, and anxiety-ridden as caregivers.
You might feel isolated – even within your family.
You might be pressuring yourself to be a superhero in this situation.
You might be worried that if you started venting your anger, sorrow, rage, or grief – even in healthy ways – you would never stop.
That was me, by the way. All of the above.
I wasn’t used to leaning on anyone… so I didn’t think there was anyone to lean on.
The demands of my caregiving situation continued to grow and my “superpowers” started to fail. Which had never happened to me before.
And then I had my first ever anxiety attack.
And then I finally started asking for some help.
Even smart, capable, big-hearted women need – and deserve – somebody to lean on.
Who has your back?
We do.
It’s true that…
…caregivers often get mentally exhausted before they get physically exhausted.
Because in your mind the caregiving never stops. Even if you live miles away from the person you are caring for.
Not only is your “caregiver antennae” on active alert for a sign or a sound that you are needed…
…but you are also managing details, logistics, and family dynamics while keeping your thoughts and feelings in check during times when they can’t be expressed.
That’s a LOT of weight on your shoulders.
But you can handle it, right?
You’re a smart, capable woman who’s used to heavy lifting.
You’re used to being self-sufficient.
You’re used to fixing and solving and saving the day.
Very often, smart, capable women are the ones who feel the most ashamed, confused, and anxiety-ridden as caregivers.
You might feel isolated – even within your family.
You might be pressuring yourself to be a superhero in this situation.
You might be worried that if you started venting your anger, sorrow, rage, or grief – even in healthy ways – you would never stop.
That was me, by the way. All of the above.
I wasn’t used to leaning on anyone… so I didn’t think there was anyone to lean on.
The demands of my caregiving situation continued to grow and my “superpowers” started to fail. Which had never happened to me before.
And then I had my first ever anxiety attack.
And then I finally started asking for some help.
Even smart, capable, big-hearted women need – and deserve – somebody to lean on.
Who has your back?
We do.
More accessible than therapy.
More affordable than private coaching.
More strategic than traditional support groups.
More accessible than therapy.
More affordable than private coaching.
More strategic than traditional support groups.
Have a question?
You First is different than traditional caregiver support groups – though you can certainly benefit from having both in your life.
Support groups – especially groups of your peers who are caring for people with the same illnesses or challenges – can be invaluable sources of information and insights. It can also be extremely comforting to connect with people who truly mean it when they say: “I know how that feels.”
That said, the quality of facilitation and communication within support groups can be inconsistent and vary wildly depending on the group.
While You First offers support – and a supportive environment – the purpose of the group is to provide you with access to a seasoned coach with the caregiving experience and strategic skillset to help you grow and move forward (which is the purpose of coaching).
I can help you navigate things like tough conversations, challenging family dynamics, changing relationships. I can help you build muscles around setting and keeping boundaries. I can help you stay connected to your own life and your own goals while you give care. I can help you make choices that will keep you from burning out during this intense chapter of your life.
The first reason is that group coaching offers access to expertise at a lower price point than any type of private session with a seasoned practitioner. Your life as a caregiver is complex, and a lower price point enables you to receive consistent, longer-term support as you untie your knots and make the shifts you desire.
The second reason is that a well-facilitated group coaching experience can be a game-changer for you – even if you are an introvert like me! You will get value whenever you are being coached directly and you will get value out of listening to others being coached.
(Very often, when your brain is listening to others working through their stuff, it is more relaxed and able to make connections and discoveries that it might not make when you are being coached directly. That’s why it’s also useful to listen to the recordings of your own coaching segments, too.)
I am an excellent coach – which is, of course, essential to the value of You First. But an effective group experience requires a perceptive, experienced facilitator who is able to create and maintain a safe and productive space. You will have that too: I have honed my skills by facilitating multiple, on-going groups every single month for more than twenty consecutive years. You will be in caring, responsible hands.
There are 3 reasons why I am uniquely suited to be a valuable coach for anyone who wants to stay connected to their own life and goals while they give care:
1) I am a high-quality, experenced coach.
For over 20 years, I have been guiding smart, capable people through important decisions, tough conversations, significant shifts, and inspiring expansions. Even before I started You First, I had coached clients who were giving care – and clients who required care. So, the guidance I offer is not merely pulled from my own, personal caregiving experience. I have developed my set of wise eyes and keen ears over thousands of hours of hands-on work with clients plus personal reflection and refinement.
2) I am an experienced group facilitator.
An essential ingredient of any effective group experience is having a perceptive, calm facilitator who is capable of creating and maintaining a safe and productive space. I have honed my facilitation skills by leading multiple, on-going groups (both online and off) every single month for more than 20 consecutive years. You will be in caring, responsible hands.
3) I have long-term experience as a caregiver.
I am not an expert caregiver. (In fact, I was a reluctant, deficient caregiver in many ways.) And, of course, each caregiving situation has a unique set of circumstances and variables – no two are alike. I may not have walked a mile in your exact shoes, but I walked for 12 years in shoes that look and feel similar to yours in many key areas: anger, sadness, rage and grief… fear and frustration… overwhelm and doubt. Because of my skill set, I was able to exit the caregiving tunnel with my marriage, my business, and my Self still intact. I decided to go through this experience, but more importantly, I decided to GROW through it. You First exists because I want the same for you.
BONUS REASON:
4) I was a professional organizer for over 17 years.
This is a very helpful skill set to have and I’m happy to share my tools and perspectives in whatever way I can to support you through this chapter of your life.
I chose “You First” because it resonates on three levels:
First, the fact that, as a caregiver, you have chosen to say to someone: “I am putting you first.”
Second, the fact that, as a caregiver, you are regularly told: “you need to put yourself first” (so that you don’t burn out).
And third, the fact that this coaching group exists specifically so that you, as a caregiver, have a place where someone else is putting YOU first. A place where you can relax and receive.
A “Modern Caregiver” is someone who is choosing to integrate caregiving into their life – but in a way that prevents their role as caregiver from consuming the entirety of their life, identity, livelihood, or goals.
Modern Caregivers have lives that are already full and complex – we are breadwinners and/or single parents and/or entrepreneurs and/or full-time employees and/or earning graduate degrees and, and, and, and, and.
Throughout history, societies have relied on people – women mostly – to “put their own life on hold” when someone in their circle needs care. This is an antiquated model that is no longer sustainable in modern times. (Plus, the notion of “putting your life on hold” to care for someone else is nonsense. It’s a fantasy. You can’t pause your life. This IS your life – you are still living your life even as you give care. And when you are done with your caregiving journey, no one shows up at your door with some extra years to add back on to your life in thanks for your service.)
Modern Caregivers have big hearts and we want to provide care, but we also want to avoid depleting ourselves or draining our finances or derailing our life in the process.
You First is not a course or a training program to teach you how to become a “better caregiver.”
There are many organizations that focus on providing you with information and tips that you, as a caregiver, can use to better serve the person you are caring for. In You First we don’t focus on the person you are caring for – we focus on YOU.
We don’t focus on the challenges that the person you are caring for is facing, we focus on the challenges that YOU are facing while you are caring for your person.
YOU need encouragement, support, and attention, too – and getting those things will help you have more mental and emotional bandwidth so you can show up for your person with more compassion and less stress.
Likewise, You First does not focus on providing resources for the medical, legal, and financial challenges that are part of the caregiving landscape (beyond the suggestions you are welcome to request from members of our community). There are many websites and organizations that already curate those particular resources.
Your time commitment within You First is as flexible as you need it to be – without losing a drop of value.
Each month there are three 90min. group coaching sessions live (via Zoom) with me:
The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Saturdays of each month from 10am – 11:30am Pacific Standard Time
Attend as many sessions as you’d like.
Arrive late / leave early as needed.
Attend with your camera on or off.
You are welcome to submit your questions in advance for me to answer during the session. All of the sessions will be recorded and you’ll have access to the audio archive 24/7.
Even just listening to the recordings of other caregivers being coached will help your mind start to shift. Very often, when your brain is listening to others working through their stuff, it is more relaxed and able to make connections and discoveries that it might not make when you are being coached directly.
(That’s why it’s also useful to listen to the recordings of your own coaching segments, too.)
Yes.
You First members are able to book private sessions with me (60 or 90 minutes) at a special, reduced rate.
There is no formal or structured assignments as everyone is on their own individual coaching and caregiving journeys.
You will receive a You First Reflection Guidebook and a You First Toolkit to help you notice, examine, and process some of your thoughts and feelings – but your use of these materials is private and optional.
That’s perfectly fine – you can cancel your membership at anytime.
Trying out You First and then deciding it’s not a good fit is so much better than never joining and just endlessly wondering “what if…” (you will only really know for sure once you come in and see for yourself).
The minute you join you will have access to ALL of the recordings of our past sessions – listen to a few of those and you’ll quickly figure out if you have found a little corner of the internet where you are meant to be.
As an introvert myself, I totally understand where this question is coming from! Participation within the You First community and posting on the platform is completely optional. You are welcome to come and quietly lurk around and never post a thing.
You can also come to our live sessions just to listen – with your camera on or off. During those sessions no one is ever “called on” to participate unless they have indicated that they want to be coached. This is a safe, pressure-free environment in which to learn and grow.
Yes.
Membership in You First can be a tremendous gift to give to a caregiver. We can arrange for you to purchase an on-going membership or a certain number of months for someone that you’d like to sponsor.
To start the ball rolling on this, simply email us at assistant@kristineoller.com
Everyone is wired in a unique way – mentally and emotionally. And, as a caregiver, you are already carrying a heavy cognitive load. Plus, stressful situations often make the things that are difficult for us even more difficult.
It’s important to acknowledge and be kind to yourself about all of that when you are making decisions and trying things out.
While I’ve kept the elements of You First as streamlined and simple as possible, absorbing coaching in an online group format, or listening to audio recordings of my guidance, or learning how to use a new platform may not be the best fit for everyone.
Sometimes bypassing all of that and working 1:1 with a coach is a much better fit.
If you’d prefer to work with me in private, there are two options:
1)
If you like the idea of being able to meet and get the support (and resources) of other caregivers, you can join You First and then, as a member, you can book private sessions with me at a reduced rate.
2)
If you don’t have the inclination or bandwidth for a community right now, you can simply become one of my fantabulous private clients and book sessions with me through this page: https://kristineoller.com/strategy/
Neither option is “better” or “worse” than the other – it’s always, always about choosing whatever option is best for YOU.
We most certainly hope so.
Our formal Participation Policy is distributed to every new member.
You can view a copy here.
Have a question?
You First is different than traditional caregiver support groups – though you can certainly benefit from having both in your life.
Support groups – especially groups of your peers who are caring for people with the same illnesses or challenges – can be invaluable sources of information and insights. It can also be extremely comforting to connect with people who truly mean it when they say: “I know how that feels.”
That said, the quality of facilitation and communication within support groups can be inconsistent and vary wildly depending on the group.
While You First offers support – and a supportive environment – the purpose of the group is to provide you with access to a seasoned coach with the caregiving experience and strategic skillset to help you grow and move forward (which is the purpose of coaching).
I can help you navigate things like tough conversations, challenging family dynamics, changing relationships. I can help you build muscles around setting and keeping boundaries. I can help you stay connected to your own life and your own goals while you give care. I can help you make choices that will keep you from burning out during this intense chapter of your life.
The first reason is that group coaching offers access to expertise at a lower price point than any type of private session with a seasoned practitioner. Your life as a caregiver is complex, and a lower price point enables you to receive consistent, longer-term support as you untie your knots and make the shifts you desire.
The second reason is that a well-facilitated group coaching experience can be a game-changer for you – even if you are an introvert like me! You will get value whenever you are being coached directly and you will get value out of listening to others being coached.
(Very often, when your brain is listening to others working through their stuff, it is more relaxed and able to make connections and discoveries that it might not make when you are being coached directly. That’s why it’s also useful to listen to the recordings of your own coaching segments, too.)
I am an excellent coach – which is, of course, essential to the value of You First. But an effective group experience requires a perceptive, experienced facilitator who is able to create and maintain a safe and productive space. You will have that too: I have honed my skills by facilitating multiple, on-going groups every single month for more than twenty consecutive years. You will be in caring, responsible hands.
There are 3 reasons why I am uniquely suited to be a valuable coach for anyone who wants to stay connected to their own life and goals while they give care:
1) I am a high-quality, experenced coach.
For over 20 years, I have been guiding smart, capable people through important decisions, tough conversations, significant shifts, and inspiring expansions. Even before I started You First, I had coached clients who were giving care – and clients who required care. So, the guidance I offer is not merely pulled from my own, personal caregiving experience. I have developed my set of wise eyes and keen ears over thousands of hours of hands-on work with clients plus personal reflection and refinement.
2) I am an experienced group facilitator.
An essential ingredient of any effective group experience is having a perceptive, calm facilitator who is capable of creating and maintaining a safe and productive space. I have honed my facilitation skills by leading multiple, on-going groups (both online and off) every single month for more than 20 consecutive years. You will be in caring, responsible hands.
3) I have long-term experience as a caregiver.
I am not an expert caregiver. (In fact, I was a reluctant, deficient caregiver in many ways.) And, of course, each caregiving situation has a unique set of circumstances and variables – no two are alike. I may not have walked a mile in your exact shoes, but I walked for 12 years in shoes that look and feel similar to yours in many key areas: anger, sadness, rage and grief… fear and frustration… overwhelm and doubt. Because of my skill set, I was able to exit the caregiving tunnel with my marriage, my business, and my Self still intact. I decided to go through this experience, but more importantly, I decided to GROW through it. You First exists because I want the same for you.
BONUS REASON:
4) I was a professional organizer for over 17 years.
This is a very helpful skill set to have and I’m happy to share my tools and perspectives in whatever way I can to support you through this chapter of your life.
I chose “You First” because it resonates on three levels:
First, the fact that, as a caregiver, you have chosen to say to someone: “I am putting you first.”
Second, the fact that, as a caregiver, you are regularly told: “you need to put yourself first” (so that you don’t burn out).
And third, the fact that this coaching group exists specifically so that you, as a caregiver, have a place where someone else is putting YOU first. A place where you can relax and receive.
A “Modern Caregiver” is someone who is choosing to integrate caregiving into their life – but in a way that prevents their role as caregiver from consuming the entirety of their life, identity, livelihood, or goals.
Modern Caregivers have lives that are already full and complex – we are breadwinners and/or single parents and/or entrepreneurs and/or full-time employees and/or earning graduate degrees and, and, and, and, and.
Throughout history, societies have relied on people – women mostly – to “put their own life on hold” when someone in their circle needs care. This is an antiquated model that is no longer sustainable in modern times. (Plus, the notion of “putting your life on hold” to care for someone else is nonsense. It’s a fantasy. You can’t pause your life. This IS your life – you are still living your life even as you give care. And when you are done with your caregiving journey, no one shows up at your door with some extra years to add back on to your life in thanks for your service.)
Modern Caregivers have big hearts and we want to provide care, but we also want to avoid depleting ourselves or draining our finances or derailing our life in the process.
You First is not a course or a training program to teach you how to become a “better caregiver.”
There are many organizations that focus on providing you with information and tips that you, as a caregiver, can use to better serve the person you are caring for. In You First we don’t focus on the person you are caring for – we focus on YOU.
We don’t focus on the challenges that the person you are caring for is facing, we focus on the challenges that YOU are facing while you are caring for your person.
YOU need encouragement, support, and attention, too – and getting those things will help you have more mental and emotional bandwidth so you can show up for your person with more compassion and less stress.
Likewise, You First does not focus on providing resources for the medical, legal, and financial challenges that are part of the caregiving landscape (beyond the suggestions you are welcome to request from members of our community). There are many websites and organizations that already curate those particular resources.
Your time commitment within You First is as flexible as you need it to be – without losing a drop of value.
Each month there are three 90min. group coaching sessions live (via Zoom) with me:
The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Saturdays of each month from 10am – 11:30am Pacific Standard Time
Attend as many sessions as you’d like.
Arrive late / leave early as needed.
Attend with your camera on or off.
You are welcome to submit your questions in advance for me to answer during the session. All of the sessions will be recorded and you’ll have access to the audio archive 24/7.
Even just listening to the recordings of other caregivers being coached will help your mind start to shift. Very often, when your brain is listening to others working through their stuff, it is more relaxed and able to make connections and discoveries that it might not make when you are being coached directly.
(That’s why it’s also useful to listen to the recordings of your own coaching segments, too.)
Yes.
You First members are able to book private sessions with me (60 or 90 minutes) at a special, reduced rate.
There is no formal or structured assignments as everyone is on their own individual coaching and caregiving journeys.
You will receive a You First Reflection Guidebook and a You First Toolkit to help you notice, examine, and process some of your thoughts and feelings – but your use of these materials is private and optional.
That’s perfectly fine – you can cancel your membership at anytime.
Trying out You First and then deciding it’s not a good fit is so much better than never joining and just endlessly wondering “what if…” (you will only really know for sure once you come in and see for yourself).
The minute you join you will have access to ALL of the recordings of our past sessions – listen to a few of those and you’ll quickly figure out if you have found a little corner of the internet where you are meant to be.
As an introvert myself, I totally understand where this question is coming from! Participation within the You First community and posting on the platform is completely optional. You are welcome to come and quietly lurk around and never post a thing.
You can also come to our live sessions just to listen – with your camera on or off. During those sessions no one is ever “called on” to participate unless they have indicated that they want to be coached. This is a safe, pressure-free environment in which to learn and grow.
Yes.
Membership in You First can be a tremendous gift to give to a caregiver. We can arrange for you to purchase an on-going membership or a certain number of months for someone that you’d like to sponsor.
To start the ball rolling on this, simply email us at assistant@kristineoller.com
Everyone is wired in a unique way – mentally and emotionally. And, as a caregiver, you are already carrying a heavy cognitive load. Plus, stressful situations often make the things that are difficult for us even more difficult.
It’s important to acknowledge and be kind to yourself about all of that when you are making decisions and trying things out.
While I’ve kept the elements of You First as streamlined and simple as possible, absorbing coaching in an online group format, or listening to audio recordings of my guidance, or learning how to use a new platform may not be the best fit for everyone.
Sometimes bypassing all of that and working 1:1 with a coach is a much better fit.
If you’d prefer to work with me in private, there are two options:
1)
If you like the idea of being able to meet and get the support (and resources) of other caregivers, you can join You First and then, as a member, you can book private sessions with me at a reduced rate.
2)
If you don’t have the inclination or bandwidth for a community right now, you can simply become one of my fantabulous private clients and book sessions with me through this page: https://kristineoller.com/strategy/
Neither option is “better” or “worse” than the other – it’s always, always about choosing whatever option is best for YOU.
We most certainly hope so.
Our formal Participation Policy is distributed to every new member.
You can view a copy here.
“With this new phase of my life caring for my partner, Kristine was really amazing about making me look at the situation and acknowledge what I would miss if I lost him today and what I still have. I still have the laughter and the walking hand-in-hand and the conversations and the snuggles and the love – all of that still exists. Although our relationship is not the same, that doesn’t make it any less valid. It really was a shift in perspective for me because I was allowing his illness to change what really shouldn’t change, which is the love we have for one another.”
“One of Kristine’s superpowers is distilling a situation and slicing away the emotion, the drama, and the stuff you think is important (but really isn’t). She has a beautiful way of getting down to the core of what needs to be addressed. She does it so gently that you don’t even realize it’s happening. The way she phrases things and questions things helps me get rid of all the swirling chaos in my head and find the path forward.“
“You First was my life preserver — it saved me, heart, art, and all. Before I found this group, it’s not an exaggeration to say that I felt like the tsunami of the caregiving world would sweep me out to sea forever. I was overwhelmed, grieving, angry, terrified. You First immediately became a place of safety, calm, support, love and nourishment in the middle of the wildness. Through it, not only did my caregiver muscles get ripped — I found life muscles I wasn’t using and started building them. Kristine has created a village that the world has a profound need for.”
“With this new phase of my life caring for my partner, Kristine was really amazing about making me look at the situation and acknowledge what I would miss if I lost him today and what I still have. I still have the laughter and the walking hand-in-hand and the conversations and the snuggles and the love – all of that still exists. Although our relationship is not the same, that doesn’t make it any less valid. It really was a shift in perspective for me because I was allowing his illness to change what really shouldn’t change, which is the love we have for one another.”
“One of Kristine’s superpowers is distilling a situation and slicing away the emotion, the drama, and the stuff you think is important (but really isn’t). She has a beautiful way of getting down to the core of what needs to be addressed. She does it so gently that you don’t even realize it’s happening. The way she phrases things and questions things helps me get rid of all the swirling chaos in my head and find the path forward.“
“You First was my life preserver — it saved me, heart, art, and all. Before I found this group, it’s not an exaggeration to say that I felt like the tsunami of the caregiving world would sweep me out to sea forever. I was overwhelmed, grieving, angry, terrified. You First immediately became a place of safety, calm, support, love and nourishment in the middle of the wildness. Through it, not only did my caregiver muscles get ripped — I found life muscles I wasn’t using and started building them. Kristine has created a village that the world has a profound need for.”
“With this new phase of my life caring for my partner, Kristine was really amazing about making me look at the situation and acknowledge what I would miss if I lost him today and what I still have. I still have the laughter and the walking hand-in-hand and the conversations and the snuggles and the love – all of that still exists. Although our relationship is not the same, that doesn’t make it any less valid. It really was a shift in perspective for me because I was allowing his illness to change what really shouldn’t change, which is the love we have for one another.”
“One of Kristine’s superpowers is distilling a situation and slicing away the emotion, the drama, and the stuff you think is important (but really isn’t). She has a beautiful way of getting down to the core of what needs to be addressed. She does it so gently that you don’t even realize it’s happening. The way she phrases things and questions things helps me get rid of all the swirling chaos in my head and find the path forward.“
“You First was my life preserver — it saved me, heart, art, and all. Before I found this group, it’s not an exaggeration to say that I felt like the tsunami of the caregiving world would sweep me out to sea forever. I was overwhelmed, grieving, angry, terrified. You First immediately became a place of safety, calm, support, love and nourishment in the middle of the wildness. Through it, not only did my caregiver muscles get ripped — I found life muscles I wasn’t using and started building them. Kristine has created a village that the world has a profound need for.”
