As caregivers, our days and weeks can feel like a Groundhog Day – repetitive routines that can feel like maddening, challenging, sad drudgery.
It’s easy (and understandable) to want to disconnect from your heart, slip into Robot Caregiver Mode, and distract yourself by focusing on a running mental list of “things I will definitely not miss when this chapter is over.”
But keeping yourself connected to your heart – and to your empathy and to your goals and to your self – is vital, so I want to recommend that you regularly remind yourself of the things that you will miss when this chapter of your life is over.
Things that are still available to you to experience now – even as small as feeling your loved one’s hand in yours (pausing to really notice and soak in what that feels like). Perhaps you can still walk together or laugh together or listen to music together or lie in bed together.
You will miss those things.
And I know it can feel sad to make yourself pay attention to that list and to take advantage of the things on that list, but part of stepping up and into the role of caregiver is making peace with the fact that this is a very sad journey that you are on. But sadness will not kill you – or I would be dead by now.
Allowing yourself to feel it, will allow it to flow through and out of you.
And allowing yourself to notice and enjoy all the little pieces of being with your loved one that you still can, will allow you to add to your energy tanks, rather than drain them.
Thank you for spending this time with me – and thank you for being one of the ones who care.
Details about my group coaching program for caregivers are here.