It is a true blessing when a caregiving situation for a parent unites you and your siblings rather than divides you, but even in the best of circumstances, there is usually some friction.

If this is the case for you, it can be helpful to remind yourself that each sibling in your family had a different set of parents.

Your parents were not the same individuals and not the same couple when they gave birth to their second child as they were when they gave birth to their first child.

Your parents were a different age, had different responsibilities in life, and had additional experiences that shaped them into different people from birth to birth to birth.

Plus, their personalities meshed differently with the personalities of each of their children.

So, your siblings may have very valid reasons for why they are relating to your parents in a very different way than you are within this caregiving situation.

You have the right (as do each of your siblings) to decide on the extent and texture of care that you want to provide these two adults who are important figures in your personal history.

It is your choice to be a caregiver. You are choosing what will give you the most peace on your own deathbed. You are choosing what is in alignment with your values and integrity as a human. You are choosing what is most healthy and sustainable for you.

There are lots of variables involved with your choices – and there are lots of variables (and different ones) for each of your siblings. One of those variables is how your parent treated you as a child and/or as an adult.

What I am concerned with is how much energy are you expending trying to get your siblings to act in a certain way.

How is that working for you? How is that making you feel? What might happen if some of that energy was redirected away from your siblings and back to your self and your life and your goals?

Thank you for spending this time with me – and thank you for being one of the ones who care.

Details about my group coaching program for caregivers are here.