As you likely already know, the intensity of caregiving can alter relationships.
One of the relationships it can change – for the better – is the relationship you have with yourself.
How you talk to yourself, on a daily basis, inside your own mind is directly related to the amount of mental, emotional and physical energy you have. And how you talk to yourself is one of the few things you have a great deal of influence over.
True, you may be very used to heaping the guilt and blame and shame onto yourself.
True, you may have grown up in a house where you received a lot of toxic feedback that warped your perception of yourself.
But what is also true is that you can start – today – to talk to yourself with a bit more kindness. And then a bit more kindness tomorrow. And a bit more the day after that.
Notice and compliment yourself on the things you are doing well – or at least the things you tried to do well, rather than only keeping score of your mistakes and all the stuff that is going wrong.
Talking to yourself like this may feel awkward and kinda “fake” at first – but that just prompts me to ask the question: why does speaking to yourself in harsher terms feel more natural and comfortable?
Probably because that kind of hurtful criticism was normalized during your childhood, but now you are an adult and you can decide to stop beating yourself up.
You can decide to speak to yourself like a true friend would.
You can learn how to re-parent yourself.
This will take practice to become a habit. This may also take support while you get used to allowing yourself to do it and to receive it. But this kind of mental self-care will plug multiple energy leaks and help you stay connected to your self and your goals while you give care.
Thank you for spending this time with me – and thank you for being one of the ones who care.
Details about my group coaching program for caregivers are here.