Transcript:

As a caregiver, one of the most valuable assets you can have is mental flexibility – by which I mean having the ability to see a situation from multiple perspectives.

One way to develop this mental muscle is by asking yourself this question – and then requiring yourself to actually answer it:

“What’s a different way I could look at this? What’s a different way I could look at this? What’s another different way I could look at this?”

One of my clients got very angry when his dad did not choose him as his legal representative and executor of his estate. His anger was valid and understandable – and those feelings were being created by the stories he was telling himself that were along the lines of “this proves my dad favors my brother, trusts him more and my dad doesn’t care about all of the effort and sacrifices that I am making to care for him, etc.”

My client could have stuck with those stories – those stories are just as true any other story… but those stories were definitely making him feel bad and he was dwelling on them and stewing in them which was creating a huge energy leak.

So we experimented with answering the question “What’s a different way you could look at this?”

We both could see that not being the executor of the estate was going to save my client from having to do a TON of work. So he started to look at not having to do that work as a gift he was getting from his Dad.

My client liked being in control (in general) so not being in charge of the estate felt like he was losing control but eventually he was able to see what he was gaining by not having those responsibilities – time, peace, less stuff on his plate, more space to focus on his own life and goals which he admits were getting a bit lost within all the family drama.

Challenging yourself to flex your mind and find a perspective that makes you feel even slightly better can help to calm you down and start reducing the size of your energy leaks.

Thank you for spending this time with me – and thank you for being one of the ones who care.

P.S.
Details about my group coaching program for caregivers are here.