The very best way to get your child or spouse to embrace the organizing process is for you to lead by example and start organizing your own stuff. Not long after my client Dawn Joyal began transforming her household, both her husband and her teenage daughter requested their own appointments with me. I asked Dawn’s delightful and articulate daughter Stephanie to share her unique perspective on the organizational transformation of her home and bedroom.

K: When I started working with your mom, what did you think of the whole organizing process and how did you come to the point of deciding, “I might try working with Kristine.”

S: At first I was like: “Okay there’s this lady and my mom’s working with her and they are, like, tearing apart our house” – but it was good because before you came we had crazy stacks of stuff everywhere and it was just a problem. It was really good for my mom because it was tough for her after the [Northridge] earthquake. Everyday the clutter was a constant reminder of how we had to just pick up and leave – and that was really tough. And getting rid of that was very therapeutic for her. And I also wanted to clean up my room cuz it was kinda messy and I also needed to optimize the space in my room because it’s really small. And you working on our house turned everything around – now I know I can go into the crafts closet and get the specific things that I need cuz I know where they are which is really helpful.

K: And if you want to do something or get something, you don’t have to involve your mom to help you find the stuff you need. You can be much more independent.

S: Yeah.

K: How did the piles that were in the house – not just in your room – effect you on a daily basis?

S: It was cluttered. And we have such a nice house with such great flow – it’s perfect for parties – but your focus would always get drawn to the corners where everything was. Even if you made nice, straight stacks, it was still there. Those piles would get in our way and if you were looking for something it was really cumbersome. The clutter was very negative and it was so good to get rid of it.

K: Had the condition of your room been a point of contention between you and your mom?

S: Not really. I don’t do a lot of stuff in my room so it never gets too messy. I just didn’t have enough space. But stuff was stored all over the house and that was a hassle cuz you’d have to go all around to find everything. For example, board games were everywhere. If a friend came over I’d be like, “Well, there are some games in the office… oh, and also here in the very top cabinets of our bathroom…” I’d have to get up on a ladder and throw it down to them! It was really bad. And then putting stuff away was horrible which just made more messes.

K: Had your mom ever tried to help you organize your room?

S: No.

K: Did you have any worries or concerns about working with an organizer?

S: No, because by that time I knew you and I could see that the house had totally turned around. It feels prettier. My mom would be like “I spent three hours sorting through files of bank papers – but it was good!” At the end of the day she was always really happy.

And when we started working I wasn’t very nervous at all – it was like, “Finally!” My stuff was kinda old in my room and I’ve been wanting to updated it – not just organize but redecorate — and I knew this was the first step.

K: Do you feel that because your mom went through that whole process and learned a new way to approach her stuff that she is better able to guide you?

S: She definitely is more strict about cleaning up everything but now it’s easier – you just do it and it’s done. And I know that even if I leave a mess I’m going to go back and clean it up – and I know where it goes! Before we never new where anything was suppose to go so we’d just create a new stack!

K: Now, when you bring new things into your life, do you think about them differently?

S: Well now when I shop I already know what I have. Like, I just got this lip gloss but it turned out to be a bad color so I still have it out on my vanity… I haven’t put it away because I know the next time I go to the store where I bought it I want to return it. I haven’t shoved it into a corner and then forgotten about it and then have it be a waste of my money.

K: Is that what would have happened before?

S: Yeah, probably.

K: Would you recommend this process to other teenagers?

S: I would. It helps develop a way of maintaining your lifestyle. It’s very helpful. I know a lot of people at school whose lockers and bookbags are disasters – like an explosion has gone off in them. And they complain about not being able to find stuff. Sometimes I can’t find stuff but that’s really rare. They need it because once you start being messy it spreads.

K: Do you feel now that once you go off to college you’ll be able to handle your dorm room?

S: Yes! Organizing becomes more and more natural. I think the main this is that organizing effects everything you do in a positive way. It’s not just about cleaning up your house – I can totally see that.