A few additional thoughts:
You didn’t quite hit your goal.
Or the opportunity that came – just went.
Or you got canceled, canned, or cut-out-of.
So… what happens next?
Do you let yourself feel it by grieving your loss?
Or do you let yourself have it by taking a mental baseball bat to your head?
Crazy as it sounds, we often choose the bat.
That’s because we’ve been taught (usually by example) the art of berating ourselves.
We haven’t had as much training and exposure to the art of mourning.
(Mourning means allowing ourselves to fully feel our pain, sadness, disappointment, and/or vulnerability for as long as it takes for these feelings to organically subside.)
You can’t rush the grieving process.
You can, however, prolong your pain by wallowing in it, repressing it, or denying it.
But letting painful or uncomfortable feelings flow though you without resisting them actually takes far less energy than actively punishing yourself.